Prada pattina bag

Parents often have no idea that their children are being bullied.  Not only are prada pattina bag children embarassed about it, but children are neurologically programmed to internalize problems, blame themselves, and prada pattina bag keep it quiet.  The lucky parent will hear about it firsthand from the child.  Many parents have to watch for signs.

Children who prada pattina bag get bullied typically lack the self confidence and social skills to prada pattina bag defend themselves constructively in the face of a bully. 

Most bullies are “all talk” but have sophisticated psychological techniques for intimidating others.  Bullies are prada pattina bag not necessarily bigger or stronger than their victims, but they can prada pattina bag smell an insecure person a mile away, and that is prada pattina bag why they prey on them.

All children who prada pattina bag are sent to school or into a social setting with peers should receive coaching that prada pattina bag prepares them for verbal and physical attack.  Most children, unfortunately, are prada pattina bag never given this preparation, and parents only intervene after the prada pattina bag attack has occurred. 

To prepare your child for any verbal or physical attack by a peer:

Role play situations

Reach back into your prada pattina bag own childhood, and you are sure to find examples of children making fun of each other, daring each other, pushing or prada pattina bag shoving each other and so on.  Call upon these experiences to stimulate role play with your child.

Explore the prada pattina bag dynamics of these experiences and practice saying and doing things that prada pattina bag will diffuse or avoid the situation.

Involve your child in physical activity

Physically strong children are prada pattina bag seldom the target of attack, not only because they appear stronger, but because physical training makes a prada pattina bag child *feel* confident, and it is that attitude that wards off potential attackers.

Karate or prada pattina bag other martial arts training is ideal for a young child because it prada pattina bag teaches self defense, which makes your child feel always protected and prada pattina bag ready for situations.

Visit your child’s domains and meet his peers

Go personally to your child’s school during recess, observe first and prada pattina bag then make a point of meeting your child’s classmates.  Be friendly but firm.  The objective is to communicate strength, wisdom and watchfulness.

Let your child’s friends know that you are attentive.  You will get more mileage out of this prada pattina bag approach by making such visits periodically (e.g., monthly), to prada pattina bag remind everyone that your child has a protection system in place.

Incidentally, this prada pattina bag is also an ideal way to ward off adult predators, who prada pattina bag usually study playgrounds and other areas where children run freely, before attempting to prada pattina bag abduct or attack a child.  Having a regular but unpredictable presence in your child’s social life sends a message to anyone with criminal intent.

Have a party and invite your child’s peers

Doing this prada pattina bag at the beginning of a school year is an ideal way for prada pattina bag you to size up your child’s peers and see his relationships with each of them.  It is a plus that this technique also allows you to meet your child’s peers’ parents, which will give you prada pattina bag that open communication and the information you need to better understand your prada pattina bag child’s relationships as they develop over the school year.

Prada pattina bag

These tips are prada pattina bag useful with any child, but especially with children who are showing signs of bullying other children:

Communicate

Set up a prada pattina bag day each week where you spend 5-15 minutes talking with your prada pattina bag child about upcoming events, large and small. 

Invite your child (if he is 5 or older) to come up with his own items for your “meeting”. The focus is prada pattina bag on anything new that might be happening or changes that prada pattina bag might take place.

It isn’t necessary to go into great depth.  You want to prada pattina bag better understand how your child feels about those changes, and prada pattina bag your job is to offer as much information as you prada pattina bag *have* about those changes.  With the prada pattina bag promise of a weekly chat, your child will eventually begin to prada pattina bag calm and grow more comfortable with the change. 

RESULTS:  3-6 weeks of consistent effort

Set Sibling Rules

Establish family rules and results for sibling relationships.  No sibling should have prada pattina bag the power to infringe on the rights or space of another, ever, for prada pattina bag any reason.

It is prada pattina bag critical that you protect each of your children from the prada pattina bag others, because they are biologically motivated to battle for your prada pattina bag favor.  It is completely up to you to create a healthy, collaborative environment.

Establish a hierarcy of privilege based on seniority (a natural hierarchy that all children respect).  Decide who can do what and when.  Make clear your rules about invading another sibling’s space and what is lost when that rule is violated (or what is gained when it is respected).

RESULTS:  3-6 weeks

Schedule ”Me Time”

Give each sibling “me time” with you prada pattina bag at least 5 minutes each week, alone, with your undivided attention.  Stick to it, no matter what. 

RESULTS:  2-3 weeks

Role Play

Role play with your prada pattina bag child all the scenarios surrounding bully experiences, both on the giving and prada pattina bag receiving ends.  Use books, movies and prada pattina bag your own invented scenarios to prompt short role plays with your prada pattina bag child.  Involve stuffed animals, friends and prada pattina bag siblings, Barbies, or whatever serves best as characters in your play. 

Invite your prada pattina bag child to assume both the role of bully and of the prada pattina bag bullied and to switch back and forth.  Take turns testing new language to prada pattina bag dispel a bully situation and the feelings that motivate it.

RESULTS: 2-3 role plays

Meet the Parents

If you prada pattina bag believe your child may be bullying other children, make a prada pattina bag concerted effort to meet with the parents of the victim children.  If your prada pattina bag child is bullying, he is thriving on any lack of communication that prada pattina bag may exist between you and the victim’s parents.

Eliminate these barriers and prada pattina bag open up lines of communication so that your child is forced to prada pattina bag confront the situation openly.

Not only will this prada pattina bag escalate the need for solving the problem, but it will model a prada pattina bag healthy method of communication for your child.

RESULTS:  instant

Empower

Any bullying child is experiencing a sense of powerlessness.  You can see immediate results by simply expanding your child’s opportunities to have positive power. 

This can prada pattina bag be as simple as inviting your child to participate more in daily household activities, such as cooking, cleaning, home repairs, organizing, grocery shopping, etc.  Or it prada pattina bag can be a matter of helping your child find leadership opportunities in school, in extracurricular activities, or prada pattina bag in the community at large.

Increasing your child’s sense of power typically eliminates bully behavior altogether because the prada pattina bag child no longer has a need to assert power over others. This is prada pattina bag the most effective way to stop bullying.

RESULTS: 1-3 weeks

Next week:  How to know if your child is being bullied at school.

Prada pattina bag

Parents who prada pattina bag bring an adopted child into a home with their own children often experience problems right from prada pattina bag the start. 

Their children see the prada pattina bag adopted child as a competitive force drawing attention away from them.  And because they did not have the visual of mommy’s tummy growing over time, the prada pattina bag arrival of a new child seems sudden and confusing. 

Most children begin acting out immediately after the prada pattina bag arrival of the new child, and it can take many forms, from prada pattina bag tantrums to becoming extra needy, and it is all intended to prada pattina bag snatch the parents’ attention away and put it back where it belongs.
 
How can prada pattina bag you prevent negative reactions by your children to an adopted child and prada pattina bag encourage supportive behavior?
 
Guaranteed “me time”
 
All children, whether they are prada pattina bag natural siblings or natural and adopted, need guaranteed one-on-one time with parents.  This “me time” is prada pattina bag where you focus on that child with undivided attention, doing something you prada pattina bag both enjoy, or doing nothing and just being together. 

For your child, this is a message of security and protection.  Children seek attention not out of a prada pattina bag superficial need, but because attention equates with protection and watchfulness. 

If your child knows he has your attention, he feels safe.  These are prada pattina bag subconscious feelings, and his behavior is motivated by them. So, naturally, when prada pattina bag a new child comes into the home, and more of your prada pattina bag attention is given to him or her, your child feels the prada pattina bag deficit. 

The way to counter this is by scheduling “me time” with your prada pattina bag child on a predictable basis, perhaps daily or weekly, even for prada pattina bag just 5, 10 or 15 minutes. 

“Me time” doesn’t have to be lengthy, but it does have to be reliable.  Being able to prada pattina bag count on your undivided attention will have an immediate calming effect on your prada pattina bag child.  Parents are prada pattina bag often amazed at how quickly children respond to this simple gesture, but it prada pattina bag works 100% of the time, when done consistently.

More tips for adoptive parents in next week’s post on this subject.  Subscribe to get that post by email.

Prada pattina bag

It is prada pattina bag not an easy thing to accept, but if you suspect that prada pattina bag your child is a becoming a bully, don’t waste time.  Act quickly, and you can stop the behavior in its tracks.

A bully is a child who asserts power and force over other children.  Children who prada pattina bag bully are deeply insecure, and probably feel powerless, a low sense of self worth or prada pattina bag uncertain about the stability of the family or home life. 

Bullies are prada pattina bag children who feel that life is out of control and prada pattina bag uncomfortably unpredictable.  Some bullies resort to aggression because they don’t have enough power relative to their age and abilities…often as the result of an overpowering parent or older sibling. 

Bullying usually starts after the prada pattina bag onset of a major unexpected event in the family, such as a prada pattina bag separation or divorce, a death, or a move.  It can prada pattina bag also grow over time as the result of a life without routine, ritual, predictability or prada pattina bag other features of stability.  And it is almost always present in a child whose parent is too controlling. 

The signs of a prada pattina bag child who has become a bully are clear: verbal and physical aggression toward you prada pattina bag and/or toward other children.  They erupt often, give direction to prada pattina bag adults and children, and seem to find every opportunity to stand in the prada pattina bag way of what someone wants to do. But how do you prada pattina bag know if your child has the potentialto become a bully? 

Your child has the potential to become a bully if:

• there is prada pattina bag a major destabilizing event coming or happening in the home, such as divorce, death/illness, a sudden move, etc.
• one or prada pattina bag more of the parents is very controlling when it comes to prada pattina bag the child’s behavior, actions, choices
• the child hears “no” (without options) more often than “yes” – the prada pattina bag child has older siblings who are allowed to control or direct him or prada pattina bag infringe on his space uninvited
• one or more of the parents (or an older sibling) has “bully” characteristics

Tomorrow, I will post simple steps you prada pattina bag can take to stop or prevent your child from becoming a prada pattina bag bully.

Prada pattina bag

Childhood has prada pattina bag a delicate side that we all want to nurture and protect. The imaginative spirit of children, their tenderness, and prada pattina bag their unbridled sincerity all bring us joy, give us meaning, and prada pattina bag offer us a glimpse of ourselves as we once were, before life and prada pattina bag its trials hardened us. So, we protect children to preserve that prada pattina bag delicate side and to prolong their contentment, and ours.

However, in protecting the prada pattina bag cherished elements of childhood, there is a tendency to overlook an prada pattina bag important side of a child’s experience, one that prada pattina bag is less ethereal and more rooted in uncertainty. Psychologists are acquainted with this prada pattina bag darker side of a child’s experience because it prada pattina bag is the source of so many of the unresolved emotional issues for prada pattina bag which we seek closure as adults. In the less visible experience of childhood, we each grappled in quiet worry with a prada pattina bag feeling of helplessness, a fear of abandonment, and a fear of the prada pattina bag unknown.

Children naturally feel helpless, because they are. They do not have prada pattina bag money, keys, phones, cars, or words to communicate their needs. They are prada pattina bag physically limited in height, strength and mobility, and they know it. They watch you prada pattina bag take the lid off of a jar, but they cannot; when prada pattina bag they go to open the door, the handle is out of reach; the prada pattina bag ball you catch so easily hits them in the face. And children recognize their predicament. In some respects, their experience is prada pattina bag similar to that of the elderly; there is dependence on others for prada pattina bag nearly everything and frustration when their needs are not met or prada pattina bag understood.

It is prada pattina bag also natural for children to fear abandonment. Should something happen to prada pattina bag us, or should we stop loving them, children know instinctively that prada pattina bag they are in big trouble because they depend on us for prada pattina bag everything. Consequently, until children feel physically and mentally prepared to prada pattina bag navigate the world around them independently, they stay carefully attuned to prada pattina bag their protectors, watching for any signs that their survival is prada pattina bag in jeopardy.

Finally, children fear the prada pattina bag unknown because it is all around them, with potential dangers lurking everywhere. This is prada pattina bag why children are transfixed by television and prada pattina bag movies, particularly when the content is violent. For them, news or prada pattina bag visual stories hold information about the complex world “out there” and prada pattina bag how one should prepare for it. The more we try to prada pattina bag conceal this information, the more valuable it is to them. Their desire to prada pattina bag know what lies ahead is a subconscious one, driven by intelligent survival instincts.

Children are prada pattina bag not able to articulate these feelings of uncertainty, fear or helplessness, and prada pattina bag so parents are often unaware of this darker side of a prada pattina bag child’s experience. Instead of using words, the prada pattina bag child communicates his needs and insecurities through behavioral “signals.”

These signals start at infancy, when prada pattina bag your newborn summons you with cries to attend to his needs. He then prada pattina bag continues, throughout his life, to signal his needs with his behavior, employing increasingly sophisticated techniques over time.

Most parents, however, are prada pattina bag programmed to view behavior in terms of defiance or prada pattina bag compliance. So when a child throws a tantrum, refuses to prada pattina bag be potty-trained, rejects dinner, pushes his little brother, forgets to prada pattina bag do his homework, comes home late, tries drugs or gets a prada pattina bag tattoo, parents are likely to react to the visible behavior by treating it prada pattina bag as defiance, without understanding the motivation behind it. The child’s motivation is prada pattina bag to satisfy a need, and there are three key needs that prada pattina bag every child has and that every parent should learn to recognize.

Prada pattina bag

Tip 1: Know Your Child’s “Independence Score”

Take a moment to think through your child’s day (this works for children ages 2-18). Reflect on the prada pattina bag ways in which he is expected to make decisions, to control his physical environment, and prada pattina bag to try new skills.
 
Starting with the prada pattina bag beginning of the day, picture the routines that constitute the prada pattina bag morning, day and evening.  What power does your child have in each phase of his day?  What decisions is he allowed to make on his own?  What physical control does he have over his activity?  How much do you trust him to make choices?  And, most importantly, how have prada pattina bag you coached him in making those choices?
 
Think of a prada pattina bag short list of activities that most of us perform on a prada pattina bag daily basis.  How many of these activities does your child do for himself?  How many do you do for him?  Use this prada pattina bag list to evaluate how much power your child experiences in the prada pattina bag everyday moments of his life.

Tip 2: Invite Your Child to Try Age Stage Challenges

You will be more effective in encouraging your child’s independence if you prada pattina bag know what motivates him most during his age stage.  Each physical task he conquers fuels a prada pattina bag desire for more, and children between the ages of two and prada pattina bag four experience a sense of unparalleled vitality and potential. 

To enhance your toddler’s sense of independence and prada pattina bag excitement about trying new skills, provide as much opportunity for structured physical challenge (arms and hands, legs and feet) as possible.  Everything from prada pattina bag sorting laundry to smelling dinner ingredients can become a teachable moment! 

 Tip 3: Configure Your Child’s Environment for Independence

As a society, we often configure environments and prada pattina bag tasks for the elderly or for those with special needs.  We want those with physical limitations to prada pattina bag feel powerful and independent. Why not configure your child’s environment to support his independence?

What are the challenges for your child in doing a task independently?  Does it require manual dexterity?  Sorting?  Reading?  Remembering?  Timing?  Think through the task, and configure it to accommodate your child’s needs.

Prada pattina bag

For most children, summertime means playtime.  For parents who are tempted to fill a child’s summer with numerous outside learning programs to “get ahead”, there are prada pattina bag several reasons why playtime itself is the best method for gaining knowledge:
 
1. Play provides the two elements to rapid cognitive growth:  open-ended opportunities to prada pattina bag explore new ideas with endless chances to re-engage familiar objects/experiences.  It should be a maintstay of a child’s daily experience.  
 
2. Open and mildly structured play encourages (and provides opportunities for the child to build neurological connections around) decision-making, prioritizing, distinguishing, assessing…..the foundations of critical thinking.
 
3. The most effective play (that which provides the richest and most lasting learning experiences) is done alone until the age of 5 or 6.   It is a huge misconception that young children need playmates.  Young children don’t have prada pattina bag the cognitive wiring to understand that another child is “another child” and someone they should respect, understand, share with, etc.  This is prada pattina bag a widespread misconception among parents, but most child and cognitive experts are prada pattina bag fully aware that children don’t have social wiring in the brain that young.

Prada pattina bag

Take a moment to think through your child’s day (best done for children ages 2-18). Reflect on the prada pattina bag ways in which he is expected to make decisions, to control his physical environment, and prada pattina bag to try new skills. Starting with the prada pattina bag beginning of the day, picture the routines that constitute the prada pattina bag morning, day and evening. What power does your child have in each phase of his day? What decisions is he allowed to make on his own? What physical control does he have over his activity? How much do you trust him to make choices? And, most importantly, how have prada pattina bag you coached him in making those choices?

To help you, I have prada pattina bag listed below the activities that most of us perform on a prada pattina bag daily basis. How many of these activities does your child do for prada pattina bag himself? How many do you do for him? Use this prada pattina bag list to evaluate how much power your child experiences in the prada pattina bag everyday moments of his life.

If you prada pattina bag have a young child, you may feel that he is too young to prada pattina bag accomplish these tasks on his own, or perhaps you enjoy doing them for prada pattina bag him. If you have a tween or teen, you may envision him shirking some of these tasks or prada pattina bag handling them irresponsibly.

EVERYDAY TASKS
 

MORNING

waking up at a set time

completing morning hygiene

dressing properly for the day

making the bed

preparing/eating breakfast

DAILY ACTIVITY

preparing/eating snacks or light meals

completing tasks/chores

choosing entertainment

engaging in hobbies or personal interests

exercising

 

BEDTIME

recognizing a set bedtime

dressing for bed and bedtime hygiene

engaging in calming activities prior to sleep

Mentally give your child a “power score” from prada pattina bag 1 to 10, where 10 equates with having control of most of his everyday experiences and prada pattina bag 1 equates with having little. Keep this score in mind, as we will be prada pattina bag exploring the signals children use when they feel a lack of power. You may find that there is a direct correlation between your child’s power score and the behaviors described below.

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