3 Tips to Having Healthy, Loving, Independent Toddlers
by Dr. Jones on August 6, 2009
in Children 101, Children and Power, General Parenting, Toddlers
Tip 1: Know Your Child’s “Independence Score”
Take a moment to think through your child’s day (this works for children ages 2-18). Reflect on the ways in which he is expected to make decisions, to control his physical environment, and to try new skills.
Starting with the beginning of the day, picture the routines that constitute the morning, day and evening. What power does your child have in each phase of his day? What decisions is he allowed to make on his own? What physical control does he have over his activity? How much do you trust him to make choices? And, most importantly, how have you coached him in making those choices?
Think of a short list of activities that most of us perform on a daily basis. How many of these activities does your child do for himself? How many do you do for him? Use this list to evaluate how much power your child experiences in the everyday moments of his life.
Tip 2: Invite Your Child to Try Age Stage Challenges
You will be more effective in encouraging your child’s independence if you know what motivates him most during his age stage. Each physical task he conquers fuels a desire for more, and children between the ages of two and four experience a sense of unparalleled vitality and potential.
To enhance your toddler’s sense of independence and excitement about trying new skills, provide as much opportunity for structured physical challenge (arms and hands, legs and feet) as possible. Everything from sorting laundry to smelling dinner ingredients can become a teachable moment!
Tip 3: Configure Your Child’s Environment for Independence
As a society, we often configure environments and tasks for the elderly or for those with special needs. We want those with physical limitations to feel powerful and independent. Why not configure your child’s environment to support his independence?
What are the challenges for your child in doing a task independently? Does it require manual dexterity? Sorting? Reading? Remembering? Timing? Think through the task, and configure it to accommodate your child’s needs.
3 Reasons Play is the Ultimate Way to Learn for Children Under 8
by Dr. Jones on July 25, 2009
in Children 101, Critical Thinking, General Parenting, Lessons from Master Teachers, Play, Toddlers
For most children, summertime means playtime. For parents who are tempted to fill a child’s summer with numerous outside learning programs to “get ahead”, there are several reasons why playtime itself is the best method for gaining knowledge:
1. Play provides the two elements to rapid cognitive growth: open-ended opportunities to explore new ideas with endless chances to re-engage familiar objects/experiences. It should be a maintstay of a child’s daily experience.
2. Open and mildly structured play encourages (and provides opportunities for the child to build neurological connections around) decision-making, prioritizing, distinguishing, assessing…..the foundations of critical thinking.
3. The most effective play (that which provides the richest and most lasting learning experiences) is done alone until the age of 5 or 6. It is a huge misconception that young children need playmates. Young children don’t have the cognitive wiring to understand that another child is “another child” and someone they should respect, understand, share with, etc. This is a widespread misconception among parents, but most child and cognitive experts are fully aware that children don’t have social wiring in the brain that young.
